why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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