Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's blow job season.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
