This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
