He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
