I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
