but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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