So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the day after is always just damage control
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
