New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
