Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
