I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
