I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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