id be glad to
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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