watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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