Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
