If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
