This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
