I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
