So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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