If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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