I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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