areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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