That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
