so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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