She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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