I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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