Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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