RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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