should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
