I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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