Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
