hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
