now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
