found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
