Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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