I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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