You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
