I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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