Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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