Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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