did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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