:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
