No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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