8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
