i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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