i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
