tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
