fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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