he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
