the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
if only i could text you this smell
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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