I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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