I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
