ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no. you can't hotbox the world.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
