Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
