dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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