Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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