I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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