is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.