their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.