Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.