I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.