I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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