He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
