You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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