Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
