So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
