And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is Oprah even human
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
