I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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