just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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